In this week’s episode of Retire in Texas, Darryl Lyons explores one of the most overlooked drivers of long-term financial success: behavior. Rather than focusing on market performance or investment selection, Darryl breaks down why the way we think, communicate, and make decisions could potentially have a greater impact on outcomes than the strategies we choose.
Darryl begins by reflecting on his own journey into behavioral finance and how studying the intersection of psychology, neuroscience, and traditional finance reshaped his perspective on the role of a financial advisor. That realization sets the foundation for today’s discussion: helping individuals and families make rational decisions amid uncertainty, stress, and emotional noise.
He breaks the episode into several key themes:
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Why behavioral finance matters, and how emotional decision-making can potentially outweigh stock selection or asset allocation over time.
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The role of a financial advisor as a “thinking partner,” especially during periods of volatility or life transitions.
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A real-world example of a couple who had strong financial habits but struggled to move forward because they approached money from different emotional and personality frameworks.
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How personality differences can create conflict around money, and why spreadsheets alone often fail to resolve those challenges.
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An introduction to the Enneagram as a practical personality tool that can help couples, families, and teams develop a shared language around money.
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A walkthrough of the nine Enneagram types, including common financial tendencies, strengths, and blind spots associated with each.
Darryl connects self-awareness, communication, and behavioral insight to show how understanding personality may reduce conflict, improve clarity, and support more intentional long-term planning – both financially and relationally.
If you benefited from today’s episode, share it with a friend or family member!
This episode provides general educational information only and is not intended to provide specific investment, tax, or legal advice.
Transcript:
Hey, this is Darryl Lyons, CEO and co-founder of PAX Financial Group. And you’re listening to Retire in Texas. This information is general in nature only. It’s not intended to provide specific investment, tax, or legal advice. Visit PAXFinancialGroup.com for more information. And also there’s on our website. If you’re not a client yet, what you can do is you can go to our website PAXFinancialGroup.com.
There’s a connect with us button that’ll set up a 15-minute conversation. It’s just a conversation to see if it’s a good fit, if we can help you, if we’re the right organization for you. Sometimes we’re not. So that’s just a, you know, might describe it as a fit meeting, and it’s really non-threatening. And we just set that up 15 minutes, so it’s pretty easy to do.
So, if you’re not a client, that’s a good way to engage with us. So today I want to talk a little bit about the behavioral side of finance. And I spent a lot of time over the years talking about behavioral finance, which is the collision of neuroscience, psychology, and traditional finance.
And it blew me away as I started to study this, I don’t know, 5 or 6 years ago, really inspired by Daniel Kahneman’s work, thinking fast and slow and building on that, Daniel Crosby’s work, who’s very active in today’s marketplace in behavioral finance and working with a handful of professionals over the years, this area became more important to me because I recognize that this is very likely the largest area of finance that advisors and myself can actually impact. So, in other words, individual stock selection, you would think that would be a skill set that would have a greatest impact on somebody’s life. And actually, it’s helping people make rational decisions amid all the noise.
Maybe I’m speaking the obvious to some of you guys, but oftentimes we default in our lives to thinking that, and I do this as a financial advisor, assuming that, me making individual stock selections and asset allocation decisions are really the biggest value that I can bring to somebody’s life. And it’s very important we don’t discount it and we pay attention to the details.
But the reality is when the risk hits the fan, so to speak, being able to be a lighthouse in people’s lives really is the greatest value. And I’ve seen that over the 20 years that I’ve been doing this. And it was hard for me to get my head around that because the area of study called behavioral finance really didn’t exist when I got in the business in 99.
What did exist was .com stocks. And so, I became interested in that, realizing that there’s very little value in being able to try to play that game. The real value that an advisor can bring to you, whether it’s with PAX or somebody else, is just being that thinking partner along the journey of life.
And I don’t discount that. That actually is insanely powerful. So, I want to unpack that today. You know, a few years ago, I met a couple who had done almost everything right. They had checked the box in terms of, you know, not getting overextended with debt and had good retirement accounts, but things were just off in their family.
It was, I would say, just the aura of frustration. Maybe just that awkward silence, the husband wanted certainty and the wife wanted some flexibility. He thought she was careless. She thought he was controlling. And the reality is, neither one was really wrong. They were just kind of speaking different languages. And so, I couldn’t really spreadsheet my way through this.
I couldn’t just, like, come up with charts and probability analysis. I mean, I do all that, but then you hit a roadblock like this, there’s nothing that’s going to help resolve this. And if we don’t get on the same page, not only is their life going to be miserable, they’re actually not going to be able to get that focus that’s needed to accomplish whatever goals they want to accomplish.
So, the conversations slow down when you don’t get this figured out. Now we use behavioral finance tools to get them on the same page. And there’s a lot of different tools. If you’ve been with us we use honest conversations, money mine. Those are some tools that we use. But there’s one that I want to share with you today that you can use on your own.
It doesn’t have to be through us. You can do this in your own blank space. There’s plenty of places to find it. And so, imagine having this tool that really becomes the common language for you and your spouse to talk about money. Like it reduces conflict. It builds this understanding, and it helps you guys just make better decisions.
Imagine having this tool and imagine that it’s free because it is and it is not common to everyone, but some of you guys know it because it is part of the Christian community, so to speak. And it’s a personality profile. It’s not the Myers-Briggs, which is awesome, or the risk profile, or the StrengthsFinder or even these temperament things that you’ve heard of before.
These are all great tools, but the one that I enjoyed learning, and I don’t even know if there’s a right or wrong one there in circumstances. If you want to really get into this, there’s probably right or wrong personality profiles, you know, want to apply the wrong one for a specific outcome you’re trying to accomplish. But what I find is that becoming endeared to one and then just really embracing that one is, is really the right approach.
So, if you embrace the disc, if you embrace the Myers-Briggs. Cool. But what I have learned to just enjoy is the Enneagram, and it’s a peculiar one, because it may not be as science based as others, I don’t know. I mean, there’s been some great studies on it, and I just think that when you look at the academic world, they tend to default to the Myers-Briggs.
But the Enneagram is just easy for me to digest. And so, I like it. It’s helped me. And my biggest fault and I did a lot of what we do, what we call 360 reviews, as a leader where you get feedback from people around you that are working closely with you. And I would say that the biggest mistake that I often made was assuming that people thought like me, and I know I’m, you know, you’re like, well, that’s kind of dumb.
But that was my problem. And I would say the Enneagram has helped me resolve that. And so now understanding that people are coming at these problems or even solutions through a different lens has been really relieving and refreshing to me and help me become just a better leader and also understand my wife better. So, I want to go through these nine Enneagram types with you, and I want you to just take inventory of which one you think you are, and which one you think your spouse is, and maybe, coworkers or friends or kids and just try to take inventory of it while we go through this.
Then you can go online and find an Enneagram test. I’ll put a link in the show notes for you. But let’s start with the first one again. There’s nine, and I’m going to go through these, and just figure out which one you are. The first one is called a type one. That’s a perfectionist. Believe it or not, that’s me.
And it, you know, strengths of this is, you know, somebody think of Captain America. I guess that’s the best way captain America kind of All-American boy kind of thing. You know, high integrity, very disciplined. And for me personally, it can be overwhelming because, you know, if you saw my checklist of things to do in the morning, it’s pretty robust and it’s too much.
But the biggest issue, I think, for these Captain America is, I’m not saying I’m Captain America, but that personality profile of the Enneagram one is just being judgy or over critical. Something I’ve had to work on. When somebody doesn’t have a rhythm that makes sense to me, I can pass judgment and look down on them.
And I’ve had to work on that over the years and recognize the Enneagram is recognize that that’s something that’s a problem. And it’s actually I’ll tell you this, many times I look down on people who maybe are falling short of what I consider to be of excellence, and it’s less about me thinking that I’m better than them, but it’s more about me just wanting it for them, like wanting excellence for them.
And so that but it but it does come off as judging critical. So that’s a type one of perfection is type two is the helper. If you’ve worked with Hayley around here, she’s absolutely helper. Think of Mother Theresa. I also think of Pam Beasley from The office. If you ever watch The Office episode, she just helps.
She’s just warm and generous and always wanting to help. And, but I think the problem with the two types is they’re just people pleasers. And I guess we all are to a certain degree. But these type two stand out. They just want to help. And to the extent that they may even sacrifice their own well-being, love twos, but they can definitely be taken advantage of.
So, you’ve got to be careful, as a leader, and you have to choose that or helpers to not take advantage of them because I frankly say yes every time type three is the achievers. Think of Tom Brady. Tony Stark, Maverick from Top Gun. These are success-oriented people, go getters. And they do go get it.
And then they’ll run over people to get what they want and what they desire. They’re achievers at all cost. They can be very image driven. And, you know, they, you know, have to wear their hair the certain way and dress a certain way. So that’s, that’s the type three again, nothing bad.
I’m picking on all of us, by the way. I mean equal opportunity. Critic for every, Enneagram type four is the romantic, creative, emotionally expressive. I think of Edward Scissorhands. You may remember that movie, just somebody you think of emos, but emos is the new term to describe what in my time was kind of goth, but just somebody is very emotional.
They often feel misunderstood and they’re just a different lens to look through life. But emotionally expressive really for those type fours, type fives are the investigator. This is my son. He’s an investigator. Bill Gates, kind of Sherlock Holmes, computer data scientist. Maybe some engineers. Very analytical. They can withdraw. In fact, I would say also they could be selfish.
Not in their money necessarily. I’ll we’ll talk about money a second, but more so in their time investment in other people’s lives. Number six, the Guardian. This is my HR director, Alejandro. This is Piglet, from Winnie the Pooh, who’s always kind of scared of the Hundred Acre Woods, which is adorable. But at the same time, it’s just like, always prepared, always concerned.
And these people are often skeptical. And so, they’re great for me to have on my team. As a leader of an organization, because I tend to be an optimistic and see the best in everyone in this person. Being a skeptical really is a healthy role. So, as you can see, these Enneagrams, if you’re building a team in business, it’s really helpful.
Now, many of us don’t have teams. Many of them just have family members who you may not be able to fire a family member, but you can better understand where they’re coming from by learning these. Enneagram type seven is an enthusiast like Richard Branson. Peter Pan. Right. Just not, just loose freedom. Doesn’t want to be forced into unpleasant realities.
Ferris Bueller, you know, just kind of just having fun, fun loving, but often can get distracted. So. Hey, focus. Squirrel. Squirrel. But fun-loving people. I’ve got some of these in my life, and they’re great. They’re wonderful people to be around. They stretch you especially for somebody who, you know, tends to just stay in their little bubble.
Type eight is the challenger. I would think Trump might be this person, but I think, you know, Gordon Ramsey, Darth Vader, Wolverine, you know, very intense people, very decisive, but also confrontational. So, they do certainly play good role, but they can beat people up for sure. Type nine, The peacemaker. This is certainly my wife, very works really well for me.
Winnie the Pooh, Forrest Gump. Just really relaxing. Calm but can be passive. Can be taken advantage of. Their voice may not be heard because they just stick. They can kind of get along with everyone. So that’s the rundown of the different types. I’m going to go into some of the financial aspects of the various types but just know there’s some nuances to this if you want to, you know, unpack it more.
There are these things called wings and, understand a little bit it’s there’s some deviation. So, it’s not like everyone fits into type perfectly, but types is good enough. If you can get that, if you can get your head around that, that’s a good starting point. So, let’s try to understand some of the money pieces that may come with these types.
So, a type one, which is like, that was me like a perfectionist. This is somebody who’s going to say debt is bad, like an absolute black and white and is also going to freak out when somebody is responsible, irresponsible. So, if you have people in these lives in your life, maybe a spouse, just know that that’s the lens they look through and they’re very absolute and can be judgmental.
And it’s just, you know, trying to say this is how they’re uniquely wired rather than taking offense really changes the way you communicate. Type two, this is again, the helper. I’m sorry. Type two. Yeah. The helper. I’m sorry. The type two. They’re going to want to celebrate with you. They’re going to be the caretaker.
And they’re probably if they’re type two, if your spouse is a type two, they’re going to spend money more on other people than themselves. In fact, they prefer chocolate over researching about money. Type three. You know, I would say that, you know, again, this is the achiever. These are the Tom Brady’s. When they invest, I’ve got to look out for them because they want fast results.
They’re in the microwave investing not crockpot investing. And so, I just have to reframe that and maybe constantly reinforce that they want to get down to business. They want to get things done. They don’t want to keep track of money unless that’s what successful people do. And if they find out that’s what successful people do, then they’ll keep track of money.
So, they’re achievers. Type four again, these are the romantics. They like memories. They spend money on what feels right. Kind of an emotional spender. So, they don’t think about retirement. That or just that’ll work out on its own. Lord, work it out. But they’re coming at it. Money from a feeling perspective, which can be dangerous.
Type five. Remember this is the kind of analytical ones. They hold on. Let me make sure I’ve got that. That doesn’t seem right. I have my notes in front of me, but it didn’t. Okay. I was reading something. I was like, that’s not right. Yeah. Type five. They’ll take three hours to research spending $500.
They live minimally. And they are a little uncomfortable with the unpredictability of planning because, you know, they love to live in that linear world. A type six. This is the, you know, the H.R people, the compliance people having trouble making decisions on their own. But if they’re going to make decisions, what’s the most, what’s the safest decisions?
They like reliable cars. They like safe neighborhoods. Money can frankly be overwhelming. And a type seven. Remember, this is the Richard Branson the adventure people love these people that they’re normally pretty satisfied. And you just got to be careful that they could be very impulsive, which, you know, certainly has consequences. But, you know, one of the things they like to spend money on is just hanging out with people and dining with people.
Their life can be a whirlwind of social activities that has financial consequences. The type eight, the money kind of position there for the type eight. These are the hard Chargers, remember. They’re confrontational. They want control. They can, they will earn. They’re strong earners. Typically, they’ll in fact, they may always earn their way out of bad decisions.
Oftentimes they create, they often think of their net worth as their identity. So that’s a tricky one. Remember power is important to them. And then the nine are the peacemakers. You know, just money issues can feel overwhelming. It’s not something that they really want to worry about. And like the tools they can be, they can be really generous.
And think of others. So, you may have a spouse, a friend, a family member, a child that that fits one of these Enneagram types. And if you can understand that. And then that way when they communicate with you, you don’t go into defense mode or try to change their mind. You can just meet them where they’re at.
It is an absolute game changer when you can. It’s almost a life hack. It’s almost a Jedi mind trick when you’re able to adopt an Enneagram framework and your communication style, both with money and leadership and family. So, I hope that helps you today. That’s another behavioral finance tool that we oftentimes integrate into our client experience.
But we definitely integrate it as a PAX culture. So, it’s a fun thing for us to talk about. I appreciate you hanging with me. These 17 minutes or so. And, as always, I want to remind you, you think different when you think long term. Have a great day.
Resource:
https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test
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